The worst part, in a way, is that she wasn't being mean at all. She just miscalculated a little, and I miscalculated significantly and also underestimated (which means something given what my estimate is) my emotional instability. Ugh, there's a reason I'm drawn to dark.

At least I was able in my teens to transfer the more life-threatening crazy into a character in my sci-fi novel -- all two of her, especially her psychotic half.

My RL right now really is worth escaping pathologically into SPN from, so I'm super-overinvested in the fic fandom. And now I'm all kinds of triggered and hoping I'll be able to persuade mercy of her -- but after I study for Monday's math test.

Thanks for the hugs and the hurty SPN.

<3
J